The instant of birth is exquisite. Pain and joy are one at this moment. Ever after, the dim recollection is so sweet that we speak to our children with a gratitude they never understand.
Madline Tiger
By Christopher C.L. Custer, MD
Being a retired Ob/Gyn, I look back fondly and as an honor on attending alot of mothers during giving birth. I say an honor for mothers let me attend to one of most significant act they will ever have done. I say "attending," because that's exactly what I did 85% of the time. I just did my Johnny Bench( I am dating myself for he was a catcher in the NBL in the 70's) and caught the baby. The word Obstetrics come from the Latin verb obstare which means to stand opposite( from the laboring mother) and that's what I did most of the time. I always liked Ob/Gyn, because of the nature of the specialty, for I was observing something that mothers have been doing for ages. I usually was not treating sick people but healthy ones or at least mothers who got sick but with proper treatment got better after delivery quite quickly. Finally, most mothers may forget their surgeon or most other names of specialists they might see, but almost unfailingly they remember their Obstetrician. Basically, I got credit for not doing very much- it wasn't from anything I did, it's the fact that the mother let me in on one of the most important events in her life. Now, readers say I had a duty to be there just in case a medical intervention is needed, but I can do that just as well from the nursing station, munching on doughnuts with the nurses. But to be in the same room the the mother, witnessing the miracle of birth never got old for me. I always got a rush delivery. Be it my first or my thousandth. As I grew more experienced I realized that most deliveries didn't need any assistance other than guiding the head out to prevent any tearing of the perineum. When I realized that many things I did in delivery did not benefit the mother but more the Obstetrician. They were not practices that used evidence based medicine. Either they were done for the convience of me or used the excuse, " because I was taught that way. That never cut it with me. Interestingly enough, I found that mothers having home births needed much less pain medication than those delivering in the hospital and thus Granted, mothers who wanted a home birth are more motivated to have a hands off birth, but I thought also that anxiety potentiated the perception of pain. It seems to me that using you own bedroom, using you own toilet and shower, surrounded by loved ones is alot less anxiety producing than laboring and delivering in an unknown place surrounded by strangers using ununderstandable protocols. It's when I realized these things I decided to start doing home births and I never looked back.
Birth is not pretty. I think our society will not accept the true reality, just because a birth is not pretty.
Baby with meconium staining
Baby crowning
No adveriser would dare to show a newborn, covered in meconium, blood, poop and glistening with amniotic fluid- to show the reality of the. birth. We only show a sanitized version with a blue background( think blue urine and blood) and babies at least one month old. Another reason I think we have difficulty in viewing the actual birth is the same reason we can't stand to view the moment of death. Because a picture they expect to see is not what it is, they have cognitive dissonance, which is distinctly an uncomfortably feeling, so uncomfortable, that in fact many chose not to see it. Many things are often not what they appear to be. Advertisers have done their job well- they altered reality and most Americans believe their picture.
I am a male Ob/Gyn so I never could feel the pain mothers feel in childbirth, but with enough empathy I could perhaps understand their pain. I learned that failing to listen to mother in labor- when she says, " It's coming!", it's a pretty good bet to head for the scubsink or at least get some gloves on. As for the crazy things mothers did and the insults hurled at at me by a laboring mother. First the mother was under duress and I had developed " selective hearing loss."Now I only found that to be true from experience for my nickname during my first year in the Delivery Suite was," bare hands Custer."
Now my statements might be dated, but I noticed an encouraging the trend of natural births, hospitals supplying almost exclusively birthing room, and the birthing room being the domain almost exclusively of the midwife. Doulas, importance of which cannot be overemphasized, are now considered being included in delivery team.
There are two things I learned above all. First, was the ability of a mother after a long hard labor to forget the pain of childbirth. My wife had mild pre-eclampsia and thus had to be observed for 12 hours in Recovery Room. There she was perched up in bed like Queen of Sheba eating her meal with gusto, with me changing her bed pan frequently. She cocked her head at me and said,” ya know Chris I could do this again.”I was agast for I was put though the ringer and was in no shape to help her deliver our first son. I could not even coach her with him- I ate all her breakfast and horror on horror ate her ice chips. I must admitt being a father armed with knowledge of a second year resident- realizing all the things that can go wrong, was not an ideal situation. Secondly, I will always remember, the inner strength in every mother has and how it was brought out when giving birth.